


Through Loyalty and Hardships

by 7dragons7



Category: 07-Ghost
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 8,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7dragons7/pseuds/7dragons7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>100 prompt challenge. Series of one shots and perhaps tiny linked stories. Ayanami and Hyuuga centric, along with mentions of Yukikaze.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

Beginnings are a starting place. A point where you can go, yes, this is where the story starts. In life it’s when you’re born. Quite simple. 

But what if life hasn’t really started for you? Not yet… 

The silver haired boy walked through the halls of the castle, expressionless and empty. As if nothing mattered, because to him, it didn’t. In a snow covered home where everything was blank and white he found little enjoyment in the world. His life seemed to have no purpose The youngest of three and not destined for anything, no matter how cherished he was in his home. His life lacked meaning.

No. Life didn’t start there. Not for him. 

You could jump a head some twenty years and say that’s where it started. Where a man died and was brought back by the desires of a vengeful Death God. That is where you could say this story began. Where a human life ended and a God’s began. 

But no… not there. Not there either. 

This story starts at a rather odd juncture. 

On a cold winter’s day where the boy can smell scent of blood is in the air. It’s strong. Still in his fine clothing from the kingdom he is compelled to leave, he follows it. There is more than blood. There is a darkness that he is familiar with. It runs in his veins as well, though it is a brand new feeling to him. His violet gaze catch the scarlet splatter all over the white ground and peering through the snow flurries he sees someone. 

And that someone sees him. A blade flashes but it’s not aimed at him. That blade in the years to come would never be aimed to harm him. 

The boy is tall. And thin. And he stalks over to the young silver with an amused expression. They can sense something about each other. A darkness that is shunned by most. Feared by all. And the taller of the two grins brightly. His sapphire eyes gleaming a bit. “Watcha doin all the way out here?” 

“Searching…” the young silver mutters softly. 

“Oooh~? Did ya find it?” 

A faint smile graces the pale face as he glances up at the bloodied young boy. Someone like him for the first time has crossed his path. 

“Perhaps.” 

And the taller boy laughs happily at the words, as if they are the most amusing things he’s ever heard.

And quite suddenly, the internal clock starts to tick. The story has at last started.


	2. Middles

The middle of the story is much easier to find. Though it’s not so much a middle as the ending of one story and the beginning of another. But it will do. 

Another blood stained snowy day where something of great importance happens. Back here at his home, the blood of his long forgotten family stains the ground. He knew it would one day come to this so there are no regrets. There is no sadness. Just the contentment to do this job. And do it well. For the Barsburg Empire. 

There are always casualties on both sides. And even the greatest soldier can easily be cut down, especially when one becomes careless. 

The images of Yukikaze’s death would haunt him for the rest of his days. A dear person he truly cared and loved more than anything jumping in front of a fatal blow. Red splatter coating him and the snow as the man fell to the ground. And the commander could do nothing but watch it happen. Frozen in time as the world stole away his most precious person. 

The careful strategic commander was gone once the world started to move again. Stepping over the body of his fallen Blackhawk he aimed to kill every person within this wretched castle. 

Everyone one now at fault.

Everyone would now die. 

His blade of vengeance and despair stretched far. And a wake of blood and bodies followed his deadly path. But in his haste and anger. His grief and sorrow… he was found and stopped. 

He hadn’t even seen the swift movements of his own blood coming towards him. And by the time he’d noticed it was far too late to defend himself. There was no one to throw themselves in front of the killing blow this time. 

The large blade pierced him through and the pain of it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart at the loss of his most precious person. With bloodied gloves he reached forward to grip the white robes of the bishop. His brother. 

“May God be with you, little brother.” 

_God?_

_**God!?** _

And with his own life dying another took it’s place. Something far more vengeful than he. Something much more deadly. Something truly terrifying. His body was dead, but this new thing inside him would keep it going until it’s purpose was complete. So long as he followed along with the desires this being had. 

“Who are you?” 

_“I go by the name Verloren.“_

In the darkness the two of almost identical appearance regarded each other. He’d of course heard of the Death God and his crimes against the Chief of Heaven. As a Warsfiel he had little care or love for the beings of light. Verloren for all intents and purposes was his maker. Should this be the other’s will… then he of course would follow through. 

_“There are things that I must do. Your life is ended. But I need you to live on to further what I need. Consider this a grand gesture on my part. I will allow your time to continue… So long as you help me.”_

No. From here on out his time had stopped. A most precious person had been taken. How could time continue to move for him when all was lost? He had no desire to keep living.

However… it seemed he’d have little choice in the matter. This was Verloren’s will. “Where do we start?”

A feral grin spread across the God’s pale face. _“With that brother of yours.”_

The world slipped back into focus and the commander found his hand pushing through his surprised elder sibling's chest. His fingers seeking out something important. A core. No. A fragment. One of seven. 

He watched with cold disregard as his brother’s body turned to dust leaving nothing but his robes crumpling to the floor. One of seven for Verloren. One of two for Ayanami. He ran his tongue over the fragment, catching some of the blood of the blood that lingered on it before swallowing the core completely. Giving back the powers that were rightfully Verloren’s.

Now… 

Where, oh where, was that other brother of his?


	3. Ends

Death is the ending of a story. 

There is no more to tell from that moment. But how does this end come to be? When will it come to pass? It’s hard to say. 

The ending of Ayanami’s story happened ten years ago. It ceased being his own and became someone else’s. Verloren’s started once more. Borrowed time. Extra chapters. Their road can only be intertwined for so long, though, eventually they would have to split. 

Be it by the success of the remaining ghosts and the wielders of the eyes who may manage to seal Verloren away. His fate when and if that came to pass were uncertain. If he would finally face his prolonged death. Or if he could keep on living.

Perhaps Verloren would succeed in taking what he needed so he could continue on his way. That would require the commanders death.

Or they may die together in failure. Completing nothing.

He thought about it sometimes, he must admit. He had no doubt that Verloren would succeed, it was only a matter of time. He truly believed this. But the thought of that moment when they no longer were host and vessel… standing in the darkness on the edge of the living realm and the other world… for a Warsfiel there was nothingness in the end. Or so they say.

He pictured them facing one another as they had when they first met. So similar in appearance but quite different in every other way. 

“I hope you find her…” he would say, speaking the words honestly. She was his precious person after all. 

_“I will.”_

And that would be that… the ending to his story. Whatever happened after this passing… if there was a place for him… or just the abyss, he knew what he would do with his time. 

He’d wait for the others. His precious people would one day find him again. Until then…


	4. Insides

The inside of the Blackhawk commander was a mess. It had always been that way. Since he was just a small child who could barely manage to get out of bed some days. Fevers took him swiftly attempting to snuff out his small existence. With bones seemingly made out of glass, eyes slowly becoming useless, and an immune system as strong as paper he was lucky he didn’t die sooner. Or unlucky... depending on how one looked at it.

But it was in the icy kingdom of Raggs he was doomed to eventually die. That frozen wasteland would have it no other way. 

In the academy of the Barsburg Military he suffered from similar challenges, though growing slightly more capable of dealing with them. Sickness didn’t come as easily, though it still did from time to time. And he was still very capable of having his bones broken with little effort from the opposing side. His bones riddled with healed over cracks and marks of his inability and incompetence as a child. 

With the military supplements and endless training he grew up well and someone who could hold his own. A powerful soldier with loyal demons by his side at all times. But just as he was at his peek and very best it all fell into ruins making all his effort useless at the hands of a God. 

In his old home he finally did die. His life stopped and someone else took control of it. The soul while dark and considered evil by some was managed into something completely different. A God had taken hold of it and destroyed it. 

He’d only be a shell of the person he was or could have been. Truly wretched now. It was easy enough to play off and dodge suspicion. That war had stolen not only his life but the life of someone very dear. No one would suspect his torment unless he wished them to. 

In the dwindling chaos of his life… the endless pain and nightmares that were destroying him from the inside out there seemed only one solution… 

But the shadows would not permit it. 

_Aya-tan. Will always be Aya-tan._


	5. Outsides

It was a curious thing to walk down the halls and have your own picture catch your eye. Plastered onto posters to get young women to join the military. And while Hyuuga laughed and other hawks would do the more responsible thing and pull such posters down, the whole idea confused him. 

Appearances. There was such a weight on something so trivial. It was something that confused both the God within him and the commander of the Blackhawks. Many times in both their lives they had been told their looks were a cut above the rest. Handsome was often used… 

Verloren had no idea how to judge such a thing. It was just how he was. And the commander had a hard time seeing such a thing. Too long he’d been a sick child. Too thin and small. It was only at the soft words of Yukikaze that he’d almost begun to believe that he was perhaps… unique. _Beautiful_. That’s what the Begleiter had once said. 

However… was what was on the outside really of such importance? Not that he was any better on the inside. But he’d seen how people’s looks could destroy. Destroy far more than they built. Wicked and deadly. And false things… 

So, however he was seen was unimportant. It always had been. Because when it came to the important things… the important people. When those people looked at him through a dark shielded gaze or not… they only saw the things that mattered. 

They only saw him. And nothing more.


	6. Hours

The sound of a clock ticking each moment away in his mind rang clear. So little time left. He has suspected this would go a bit differently. That when his time finally ended it would be under different circumstances. 

He imagined the soul, that kept his own alive, breaking free and heading to his long lost body. And he could feel the little warmth he had left fade away. His violet eyes dulling and his skin graying, finally taking the death that had been denied to him for so long. His fingers brushing the edges of the black robes of the God that was leaving him to this fate. 

He’d fall into warm arms. The souls he’d taken from his most loyal returning to where they rightfully belonged. And with a darkening vision his final moments would slowly tick away. 

Perhaps he’d say something to the owner of those terribly saddened cobalt eyes. Or perhaps he’d let the silence say everything, as it always did for him. What good were last words that he was bound to ruin? If he could even manage to speak… 

Death would take him quickly, he imagined. He’d been dodging it for so long. 

But he’d be held close. And safe. And warm. And he’d be loved till his final breaths… A shame he’d realized the warmth of this love far too late to really be able experience it. But the time he’d been given. It was good… He was happy.

To die this way was just fine. It’s what he’d expected…

So no tears… No regrets.

Of course… that’s not how it was ending. He stood before a crowd of people shouting his death. Traitor. Monster. For a country he served so faithfully. So loyally. Verloren… Verloren had twisted this life. But had saved it too… gave it many more years…

So here he stood something metal and heavy around his neck. Binding his powers. The maker of his death. And how the crowds screamed for it.

The seconds ticked by. They turned to minutes. And the minutes to his final hours.


	7. Days

His breath came out in ragged pants. This time… this time these wretched illnesses would take him for sure. This worried sentiment was shared with those in the room. 

“You said this happens a lot… you said you could help him.” 

The worried and condemning voice of the Begleiter was not welcome right this moment. Hyuuga shot the other man a glare and put another cool cloth over the silver man’s forehead. “I do… they don’t usually last this long.” His expression became pained as another wave of heated torment took his dearest friend’s body. “Come back to us Aya-tan…” 

It had been a long while since this sort of thing had come in such a vicious wave. Such a terrible force that sought to destroy that which was precious to him. There were still things to do. Battles to be won. Kingdoms to be destroyed… The commander of the elite Blackhawks could not be taken out now. In just a few days they’d be leaving for war. 

In just a few days this fever would kill this man that he cherished so dearly.

The one thing he could never protect the other from. A foe which his blade could not kill. A monster he’d been fighting throughout all their years together. He’d tried so hard… and for a long while he assumed that Aya-tan had finally outgrown the sickness that had taken him when he was so small. 

But if one didn’t take care of them self, as Aya never did… then of course… these things would happen. 

Holding the cool hand in his he rested his head in his arms as he knelt before the bed, Warsfiel or not… he’d prey to whomever it took to save this person so close to death. Heaven or Hell. Whomever… 

In a few days he’d know. 

In a few days he’d be going to war under the command of his dear commander…

Or…

In a few days he’d be burying his friend.

In a few days he’d know.


	8. Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning. Mentions or really... suicide intent but no actual suicide.

The days had started to blend together to the point he couldn’t separate them. How many weeks had it been since the Raggs war? How many days since he last slept? 

Ah. That’s right. He hadn’t. He tried after the horrible battle but the nightmares of a life he’d never known. The thing inside him. _Verloren_ … The life he’d had and what he suffered from tormented him. And when it wasn’t those burdensome memories it was the death of that person. 

How many weeks had gone by since he watched the body lower into the ground? How many weeks had he been glancing up hopefully at the door to his office with the hope that every ebony and golden uniform wearing man was him?

How many times did he have to do a double take and ensure that Hyuuga was not in fact Yukikaze? When those sunglasses caught the light just right… he could have sworn….

How many….? Just how many?

He stood on top of the fortress. As high as one was able to get. But it was high enough. The first district bright with it’s blue neon light. Bright and warm… and inviting. 

Just as death was. 

How many weeks had passed? How many times had he come here with intent but never able… And how many more times would he come up here?

“Yukikaze…” he whispered to the wind, his gaze glancing up at the sky that was starless. “Do you regret meeting me?” 

One day… There would come a day in one of his endless weeks where he’d come up here and finally fall into the inviting death that already had such a hold on him.


	9. Months

It was only after a few months that the death of Yukikaze began to show it’s wear on the commander. He wasn’t doing well. Faint cracks in the mask the man wore so well. Nightmares of another life pushed upon him. Nightmares of the dearest person he’d lost. A death he believed, in his heart, he could have prevented… 

A death that the commander had not grieved properly over. He never would. Instead he slowly killed himself. Pills for not eating. Pills for not sleeping. The body was human and it was breaking. And eventually it would die. 

If the owner of said body didn’t kill it first. 

It was worrisome. Truly it was… to watch the man who was so determined to stand on his own slowly break under the weight of everything that had happened. And if he survived the next few months, he would never let anyone near his heart again. It would forever be sealed in the fine casing of ice with locks that no key on earth could ever manage to open. 

The major who had stood loyally by the silver’s side truly feared that he would lose his place beside the other. That the ice would shut him out as well. But before he could ease that fear, there was the other horrible fear that he’d lose the man he’d grown up beside. 

He reached out to grab the gloved hand of his superior, not tugging him back. There wasn’t a need to do that, yet. Ayanami had been walking along the edge of a bridge, his gaze fixed at the sharp rocks and racing rapids alone. Close… so very close. One misstep… 

No… they weren’t at the point where he had to pull Ayanami back. Not yet… “Careful, Aya-tan~” 

Violet eyes, dulled and lacking the sharpness and power they once had, regarded him coldly. But there were no words exchanged after that. The Blackhawk leader continued onward, walking the same path he had been, his hand slipping out of Hyuuga’s. But at least his gaze was focused once more. Straight ahead and not towards the long fall of icy water below. 

The next few months would be hard. Aya would fall… he would hit the very bottom and seek to truly fall completely even after that. Hyuuga wouldn’t let that happen. He’d be there… He’d be there to pull him back. And then the long months of recovery could begin. But not before then. 

For now… he could only watch the back of his slowly dying friend and be there when the time called for it.


	10. Years

He ran his gloved fingers along the desk, where his predecessor had once sat. A man he had intended to kill one day. It turned out things never had to go down that path. In fact… his original plans, Verloren’s plans, had gone so awry, to the point that he still stood here today, so many years later. 

Still alive… to an extent. 

This body was still very much dead. It would never regain the life it had lost so long ago. But… his life was his own. The God itself was sealed away, but his power lingered. One of two seals locked once more. It could easily become undone… another death… But there were people that would make sure his blood was never spilled. No poison would touch his tongue. No blade against his skin. 

“Chairman Ayanami-sama.” The usual smiling face regarded him warmly, eyes concealed behind the dark shades. A gloved hand formed a salute, for his rank was so high that respect had to be given at this point. It couldn’t be seen by others as anything but a professional relationship. 

“Hyuuga.” 

“All the way at the top. Can you still manage the Blackhawks at this rank?” 

“I will, even if I cannot manage. A little extra work is nothing new. But. I will need someone to be a good second in command. Someone who can handle the paper work and lead efficiently. Control the Blackhawks when I cannot.”

“Oh~? Better be Kuroyuri-chan~”

Ayanami scoffed at the other, but not because of the suggestion, taking a seat at his new desk for the first time. He glanced up at the other, removing his hat and setting it aside. “I was actually thinking of her. She is young and has leadership capabilities. I can trust her completely. And she does her work.”

“Mhm~ Mhm~” Hyuuga nodded happily. “Good choice.”

Violet eyes analyzed the other carefully. “And what will you do, Colonel Hyuuga?”

“Serve the people I’ve always served. That doesn’t change. You’re a little further away from my desk now but it won’t stop me from coming here to see you. I won’t stop walking beside you. You’re still the Blackhawk Commander. The rest of us follow behind you always. You will never walk down these halls alone~” Hyuuga bounced on his toes and walked towards the large window with an excellent view of the first district Obviously better than what they had in the Blackhawk office. Aya-tan would like it… It would also be quiet. He’d like that too. “Aya-tan… you’ll have to get a Begleiter now.”

“Perhaps it’s time for one…” Ayanami admitted softly, he laced his gloved fingers together and rested his chin upon them.

“Oh~? Your old age is warming your heart, hm?” Hyuuga laughed turning back around. “You’ll be fifty sooooon~ Can you believe it~ Shall we throw you a party?”

“No.” Ayanami said swiftly, wanting to make sure that that idea was never mentioned again. “Though… you are correct, as you know when you speak of such things. I never believed that I would have fifty years to live.” Fifty fortunate years… extra time for a life that should have ended so long ago. So many extra years… So much extra time.

“It makes me really happy, Aya-tan… To see you here. Still here. At that desk. In this office…”

“You chatter on and on as usual.” the new Chairman straightened up, starting to go through a stack of papers. “I leave the job of finding me a suitable Begleiter to you now. I trust you will find me a good one.”

Hyuuga’s smile turned devious and he saluted the man once more. “Leave it to me, Aya-tan!” Oh. He would find someone perfect. His judgement would be harsh and he would torture them endlessly. No one could get near the Chairman unless he deemed them suitable. Should there ever be such a person… he knew that they’d make his friend… his precious person… he knew that they’d make Ayanami smile as he once did.


	11. Red

Careless. He knew it at once. But it was too late. The pain was sharp and yet... far away feeling. Perhaps because dying was nothing new to him. He watched his blood fall to the ground, pooling at his boots and turning the pure white snow crimson. 

His own blade fell to the ground, he was far more interested in catching the surprisingly red drops on his hands. His blood was red too... 

He didn't think... 

" _May God Protect you_ , _Prince of Raggs_." soft words spoken in a language so very few knew...  

He would have laughed if he could. He really would have. Teito Klein.. _. How much you have grown if you would embrace your enemy like this_. He was the one who had stolen everything. Taken endlessly and sought even to this very moment to take more. Perhaps this child knew... perhaps he suspected that he had lost too. Because his movements were unorganized and foolish. For another loss of someone was not something he was prepared to handle. Who would pull him off the ledge this time?

He felt the boy's arms wrap around his broad shoulders. He would not die alone...

Death was warm and inviting. The final rest he'd been so long denied. Even if it was in this child's arms... it was in the arms of family. No matter how much they detested each other.

' _Come and play with me sometime, Aya-tan_.'  

Those words rang clearly in his mind as darkness took over his vision and his senses began to dull and fade away. 

Yes... there was much to do on the other side. Wherever that side led... there were many people to find. There would be no rest until he could hold them in his arms again. 


	12. Orange

"Watch where you step, my king." 

Violet eyes glanced back at his begleiter, faint confusion upon the young commander's face. "Why...?" 

"The flowers of course."

There was a scoff from the other Blackhawk with them, his usual dark glasses gleaming in the sunlight. "You had us stop for the flowers?"

"Are they significant in some way to you, Yukikaze?"   

The young man laughed softly, pushing up his own glasses a bit. "My King. These are chrysanthemums. They are said to represent long life. If you eat them or add the petals to your tea... you will be blessed with a life a long life." He knelt down for a moment, plucking one of the orange flowers from the ground. "They are considered the flowers of the sun, and they bloom even in the icy winter." The dark haired man held out for the other to take.

"They bloom in winter...?" Ayanami questioned, slowly taking the offered flower Yukikaze was holding out to him, inspecting it carefully. "I've never heard of such a thing..."

The sunglasses wearing subordinate pushed his way in between the two, not an uncommon thing for him to do. "You can find a lot of beautiful things in the winter, Aya-tan. It'll surprise you what you find when you're not looking..." 

Ayanami's eyes narrowed slightly at the curious words before swiftly dismissing them altogether   

"They're just flowers, Yukikaze." 

"I am aware, sir." the Begleiter answered with a smile. 

"Flowers can't bring you long lasting happiness." But he pocketed the gifted orange flower all the same. 

"It doesn't hurt to try, sir." He raised his hand up in a salute, even though there was no need to do so. "I wish you all the happiness in the world, my king." 

The silver haired commander said nothing more, simply turning away from both his soldiers to continue on his way, feeling enough time had been wasted with such foolish chatter. 

"You don't need to wish him things. He'll always have it... so long as you're around." Hyuuga pushed up his shades, beginning to walk forward, the usual smile no longer present. 

"You'll always be sure of such things, won't you, Lieutenant Hyuuga? That our King will always be happy?" 

The other glanced back at the ever so loyal Beglietier. "Don't ask stupid questions, Yuki-chan~ It upsets Aya-tan so horribly." 


	13. Yellow

These pills were different, he noted. The pills that he saw the soldiers consume on a daily basis were white. But these were not. These were something else. In a nameless bottle with no instructions or anything. There had been a label at one point. He could feel it on the plastic container where a sticky substance might have been. Remnants of a seal. 

It had been taken off. To hide those who might be curious of their true intention. Someone like him. Perhaps him specifically. 

It was irritating. He could actually feel faint waves of anger towards the man he trusted and cared for so much. He popped open the container to inspect the things more carefully. They were yellow but held no scent to make him concerned... or at least any more concerned. There was plenty of reason to be concerned. 

The click of the office door made him perk up, smiling brightly at the silver haired man entered despite the fact that he was elbows deep with his snooping in Ayanami's desk. He did take note as the silver haired man entered, out of instinct he held the door open, as if another person was coming in behind him. It was just a moment before the commander caught himself but it was noticeable to the trained eyes of Hyuuga. 

Violet eyes, that seemed to have lost all of their light, glanced at him momentarily  "Get out of my desk." It wasn't an order, it didn't hold that flare or power. These actions before would have never been tolerated. 

"I will~" Hyuuga answered regardless taking a seat on the top of Ayanami's desk instead. He rattled the pills in the container showing it to the commander. "What's this?" 

"Pills." the other answered not even looking at the container, instead working around Hyuuga, and righting things that had been knocked over in the other's snooping. 

"What kind of pills?" Hyuuga pressed. 

"What does it matter?" 

It wasn't even the sharp enjoyable banter. It was quiet and tired. Simply speaking because Hyuuga wouldn't cease until he did. 

"You're not sleeping." The taller of the two switched topics, noting the dark circles upon the pale skin. 

"There isn't time." 

"I find it crazy that everyone else in the military can find time to do these things but you, not even the highest ranking person here, cannot." 

There was an exasperated sigh. "Enough." As if that would really end this conversation. The commander reached out to take the pills from the Hyuuga. The other of course would not relent his hold on them without learning what they were. And of course, his superior, being in the state he was, could not take them from him. Though he did try. It was rather sad and it made Hyuuga release the container regardless. 

"What do they do?" he asked again. Softer this time but with an air of seriousness in his voice. 

There was a long pause as Ayanami rolled the container in his gloved fingers, the yellow pills rolling over themselves. "They keep sleep away." 

As he faintly suspected if he was honest with himself. "You need to sleep. And eat. And do all the things regular people do." There was an underlying pain and problem on top of the Yukikaze issue. He didn't know what it was exactly. But the way his blood called for the others so much more than before. Something else had happened out there in the snow. "Won't you tell me?" 

"Not today." Ayanami's voice held a sense of finality to it. He opened the drawer and dropped the container back in. "But I will." 

This cheered the other up considerably. "Do you promise?" 

"If it pleases you." 

"It does~" 

"Then so be it. Now get off my desk." 

Hyuuga let out a hum and slipped off the wooden work place. He let his gloved fingers drift along Ayanani's arm, the folds of the fabric on the ebony uniform catching on the silk of his gloves. "Don't go to a place I can't follow, Aya-tan." 

If possible... he'd like to go first. If it came to that, of course.        


	14. Green

Very few places in Barsburg were green. The first district certainly wasn't. The whole land was a rocky landscape, as if it had been carved out of a mountain. But that didn't mean every place was like that. It wasn't all canyon like ground and snow. In fact one of his villas was in a grassy like place, though he was hardly ever there, it was a place he tried to venture to at least once a year. 

It was a decent sized home. He never knew what to do with the wages he obtained every week so he put them away and at one point he bought a home with them. A silly purchase really. For if one was to buy a home they were thinking of a future... a family or even a place to retire. 

He did not have a future. 

But then again... the home wasn't for him. Not really. 

He walked across the soft green grass, past the sakura trees that grew in that lush land. Specially ordered for only the best would do. 

Finally he reached the smooth marble headstone where he laid someone so very important to rest. In this rare green grass. Under the beautiful sakura trees like the ones they had met under.  
  
"It's been awhile... Yukikaze." 


	15. Blue

The commander was sensitive to taste to begin with. Poison was a constant lingering taste in his mouth, no thanks to his first death when he was just child. Strong bitter things would overpower it from time to time, such as tea and coffee. And certain flavors as well. If he was to indulge in sushi now and then he could use an ample amount of soy sauce and all would be well. 

There was another hawk at his command that suffered a slightly similar fate, though her problem was lacking taste. But she'd been poisoned as well some time ago. 

This common promblem had been brought up when they first met and her situation explained. And now and then he wished he hadn't said anything. For it never failed once a week there would be a jar of bright blue _something_ on his desk. The bottle so kindly labeled with a skull. 

The first time he'd seen it he assumed it was poison. And to his taste buds it wasn't far from it when he'd finally been convinced to try it. Whomever you were to thank for small blessings he thanked them over and over that he was alone when he dared sample the blue concoction.

Premium Sky Blue Jelly she called it. 

It was premium something, that was for certain.

It was, however, a good punishment for Hyuuga should the whip's sharp strike ever begin to lose its touch. 


	16. Purple

The pills the military gave their soldiers were truly wondrous things. And while he was constantly nagged about consuming nothing but them there was truly a reason behind it. 

They improved the things that were wrong with him. Little things. Like bad eye sight which was a common issue in the few in this world that carried similar traits as he did. Pale hair and skin usually came with red eyes or violet and those eyes tended to be poor. But with the pills it was like they were perfect, as they always should have been. 

But now and then on long missions he found himself lacking the all important medication. If he'd somehow forgotten to pack them... or the more likely situation, they'd been taken out of his ship and bags, he'd have to eat and wear... 

"Glasses!" Hyuuga cheered happily. "I love them!" 

The commander of the elite killers clicked his tongue at the other but would not draw anymore attention to the subject matter at hand. He needed to be able to see and read.

"Do you know why I love them so much~?"

He would not dignify these questions with answers. He simply placed one leg over the other as he sat at the commander's seat of his ship, reading over the important info for where they had to go next. The usual chatter and heavy footsteps on the bridge were not uncommon and easy to ignore. 

Or were until that person face was suddenly in his own. Their noses pushed together, the other so close he could smell nothing buy caramel and apples. It was only shock that saved Hyuuga from a beating because the other would never be so bold... _in this particular setting_... to do such a thing. 

"Do you know why?" 

"Get away from me." 

"No~ It's because even with your hat..." a gloved hand to flick at the brim of the military cap and knocked it askew some. "I can see what is normally hidden. They're a bit larger and more defined with the glasses. But. I remember when your eyes belonged to a much smaller Aya-tan... they weren't so frozen over then." 

There was a silence that he didn't care for and he couldn't escape from it because he was trapped between his chair and Hyuuga. "I'm about to hurt you if you do not get away from me..." Ayanami finally warned. 

Hyuuga smiled brightly despite the threat. "Aw. They're still really pretty though~" he finished with a wink. 

And then the promise pain finally came forth. 

He really didn't care for his glasses.


	17. Brown

It was dark in color, almost black. But it was in fact brown. If one was not careful the liquid could stain several pieces of work or bed sheets. Or the fine white dress shirt one wore under their uniforms. 

He of course was always careful. Others were not so. He'd come across paperwork from subordinates that he had to wonder if they didn't just dunk the heavy parchment into their cups. Some... he suspected did just that. 

Aside from that these dark liquids were bitter in taste and tolerable  Something he could drink without question or complaint. Without being bribed or begged to. And those who were always at his side knew this and made sure he had plenty of it time and time again. 

Yukikaze never failed to bring him coffee. His favorite brewed to perfection and with obvious care that only his Begleiter's hands were capable of.   
  
Katsuragi brought tea because it was better for him. No one in all the seven districts brewed tea better than that man no matter what certain bishops had to say about such things. Katsuragi did it best and that was that. 

But as both were gone he found himself lacking a cup upon his desk most days. 

Now and then, however, in the late hours when all had departed for the night his office was invaded by a smiling figure who apparently couldn't bother to show for most of the work day but could manage to make an appearance at such an hour. 

Despite that he would be the one to put a cup down upon his desk. Not tea or coffee. Something sweeter with an underlying taste of bitterness. Just as dark. Just as hot. 

"Hot chocolate is better at this hour. Especially in this season." 

Which after all this time had become any season during any month... and any day. Though the hour always remained the same. So much so, he'd learned to expect it.


	18. Black

This place was boring. Just as he imagined it would be. Then again he'd expected to be falling into the never ending abyss. Thankfully that flower purified him too and so as he died he became just like everyone else. And got to wait around here for Aya-tan to come and find him. 

The fallen hawk kicked his legs as he sat waiting and waiting. Booooring. 

How much time passed he wasn't certain. Aya-tan would come as soon as he was able, this he knew. 

And then one day a breeze, sharp and frigid, overtook the flower field that he'd been biding his time in. The black robes of a death God enveloping his vision for a moment before they settled once more. 

There was excitement at the sight of this being clad in robes of the blackest night. But... there was a fear. There had always been a fear. 

"Aya-tan~ You are uncharacteristically late~" 

That large deadly scythe twisted slightly in those skeletal hands. But the face that turned to look at him was familiar. Almost exactly the same. There was one major difference.

Those eyes did not belong to his Aya-tan. 

They belonged to Verloren. 

"You're still here." It wasn't a question. Just a statement. In a voice that was so painfully familiar it actually made his center hurt. 

"I said I'd wait for Aya-tan. Certainly you can understand that." 

The God closed his eyes and moved closer to the Major. Movements that were slow but fluid. The robes fluttered around the long grass and the flowers tried to coil themselves around the God, as if greeting an old friend. "I do." Verloren lifted his skeletal like hand letting it hover beside Hyuuga's face. For they could not touch... "But you must understand, as he tried to make you understand so long ago. Your Aya-tan is gone. You will not meet again." 

Those were not things he wanted to hear. A nightmare turned reality. His life. His entire life had been serving one person. Being there and protecting him. And while that life was over he'd had such high hopes that the end could be spent together. Following behind Ayanami as a Death God for lifetimes... 

"Then what am I supposed to do then?" 

Verloren opened his eyes slightly and shook his head. His skeletal hand making contact with the warm flesh. "Live again. In another life." 

"Find him again..." Hyuuga murmured as Verloren ceased his existence on this plane. "wherever he is." 

"If that is your wish." And like all things this soul faded into dust and downy white feathers. A life that would be reborn some day. "Your assistance in getting my body back is appreciated... even if it wasn't for me." he said to himself now, catching the falling feathers.   
  
But his mission was far from over and there was no time to mourn people he did not truly care for. The Ghosts were gone now so there was very little stopping him from finding the Chief and the answers he desired. 

Eve still needed to be found. 


	19. White

It was such a stark contrast to what he normally found himself in on a daily basis. But white was what one, such as himself, should wear to this event. It was a ball and festivity of that caliber.

Donning the white and gold garments it triggered memories of a time long since lost. Where the youngest prince would dress up for the most trivial things in the palace of snow and ice. If his health allowed such things.

_Flowers like snow._

Snow...

So much had been lost in the snow.

But he could not delay in making an appearance any longer. He could already sense someone waiting for him.

At his door, all smiles despite the event that they'd be attending, Hyuuga also looked different coated in the white that was demanded of them. 

"No hat! It's a miracle!"

Dodging the gloved hand that sought to touch him the commander of the Blackhawks continued on his way down the hall. There was more to this silly party than just being there and watching. He expected so much more to unravel. It would be pointless to arrive and miss this golden opportunity. Or so that's how Verloren felt about it so that is what simply must be done. 

"Ah~ Wait wait!" 

With a slight roll of the eyes, Ayanami ceased his forward progress, glancing back at the other, waiting for whatever it is the man wanted. 

Smiling proudly that he could make Aya stop for him he held out his hands making a little box with his fingers. Closing one eye he moved his hands so Ayanami was in the center of it. "I want to place this in my memory forever. I may never get to see you so dressed up again!" 

The smile the Major always had grew a bit at the mixture of annoyance and being off put by such a comment. The wrinkle of the nose on the usually emotionless features and the scoff were things he'd never get tired of. 

"Wait! Really!" he called out quickly closing the distance before Aya-tan abandoned him for real. Thankfully there was no whip on his boss' person. Not one that he could visibly see that is. 

Irritation was clearly starting to bubble up so he better get right to the point. The major held out a delicate mask, that he'd retrieved from his coat pocket. All white  with a slight decoration on the left side. "Your mask. Because I am already well aware that you didn't make your own, like you're supposed to." 

From behind his dark glasses he could clearly see the flicker in violet eyes as the wheels circled back to seek out this information. It wasn't often that something like this would bypass his boss. But perhaps it had been so trivial in his eyes that Ayanami just dismissed it without a second thought.

"Ah." was the only answer he received. To be expected from his Aya-tan.

"Here." Hyuuga quickly invaded the ever so precious personal space of his boss and pushed up silver bangs so he could slip the fragile mask over Ayanami's eyes. It fit perfectly, as he knew it would. He made it special after all! 

Hyuuga quickly put distance between them once more before he was punished, relenting for teasing instead. "Look at you~ You'll be mistaken for a prince!"

The reaction wasn't what he expected and it made him remember when they found the twins and how melancholy his dear friend became at the mention that he could possibly be a king. The reaction here was similar and he could do nothing but watch his friend's retreating back. 

It was a mystery that he wasn't likely to ever solve. There were some walls that even after almost twenty five some years together he couldn't breach and not from lack of trying. He had every intention of learning these things some day, but...

But they were running out of time, weren't they? 


	20. Colorless

"What do you think dying is like?" He wasn't sure why he asked. Perhaps just something to bother the other with. A pointless question. One of many. Some days Aya-tan humored him and other's he was ignored. This particular question he hadn't expected much from. And he certainly hadn't expected a swift answer. But that's what he got. 

"It's like falling into nothingness. The world loses it's color and sound. It's very feeling. You are nothing and will remain that way, give or take certain interference." 

He spoke without missing a beat. Giving off the answer like it was a basic military  tactic. And they both realized at the same time what had been said probably shouldn't have been. At least not in that way. The pen had paused on the paper just for a moment as his boss realized that he'd slipped. Hyuuga caught the lack of  sound and it only further confirmed fears he'd always had but suppressed. 

"Or... so I imagine." 

A cover up. A horrible one especially because of the length of silence that had passed between that answer and those words. 

Somewhere along the lines his Aya-tan had been lost. He'd failed terribly at protecting him. And the major could almost put an exact time and place to where that incident might  have occurred. When Aya-tan stopped just being Aya-tan and became something more. 

And a million things could be said in retort to this and without a doubt an unpleasant argument would happen. It didn't seem worth it. Ten years had passed and what was done was done. It made him sad. Horribly so. But he would make sure in the future that he'd die first. So his Aya-tan wouldn't have to. And whatever future Verloren gave his precious person he'd be there on the other side of that nothingness to greet him. 

So instead of questions and demands or anything of the sort he simply smiled. "Nothingness huh? Sounds boring." 

His sharp eyes would not miss the flicker of violet that darted his way only for a moment. Clearly his boss had been expecting a different retort to all this. He did love catching Aya-tan off his guard~ 

"Then don't die Hyuuga," was his dear friend's response. 

"Oh~ Never ever." 

And hopefully it really would be never ever. Despite Verloren's desperate will he hoped they had many long years ahead of them.

But the pulsating plant in his pocket he got just days ago from that bishop and ghost gave him a feeling that they didn't have years. Not even days... 

At least, he didn't. 

A world of nothingness, hmm? 

"Then you have nothing to worry about then." 

"Of course not, Aya-tan~" 


End file.
